io lo so che non sono solo, anche cuando sono solo.

"Io lo so che non sono solo, anche cuando sono solo...io lo so che non sono solo."

One of the greatest things a professor has ever passed onto me was the song "Fango" by Jovanotti.  It was introduced to me by my Italian professor during my first semester of college at Susquehanna University.  Unbeknownst, of course, to my professor, I was in the midst of a very confusing, unhappy, and lonely time of my life.  Italian 101 was one of the most enjoyable classes I have ever taken, and I will never forget the day Signora Cardin played this song for us (with a translation handout.)  The opening line repeats throughout the song.  In English, it translates to:

"I know that I am not alone, even when I am alone...I know that I am not alone."

It is such a simple phrase...but it meant so much to me.  The song in its entirety is very beautiful.  And at a time when I was feeling lonelier and lonelier in ever-crowding rooms, this kept me company.

Tonight I spent 7 hours with someone who went through an emotionally abusive relationship.  I spent roughly 3 years in the same situation...but have been free of that for over 5 months now.  I am finally getting my life back together, and it's a rebirth of sorts, like childhood wound up...knock-knock jokes can make me giggle.  The birds, even in winter, seem to be singing more (cliche! cliche!) Running feels exhilarating, the air tastes sweet, friendships abound, and every day seems to hold genuine possibility...life! How nice it is to be back!  The girl I was with today only left her abuser yesterday.  Until we spoke today, she had not spoken to a single person who had gone through this (and therefore truly understood.)  And the weird thing was, neither had I.  We sat in 3 different coffeeshops/small eateries, ruined 1 starbucks armchair, read through 2 books on the subject, re-examined 3 of my old diaries, deleted 1 facebook account, drank 4 cups of tea, listened to 5 different songs, cried at least 6 times, ignored over 14 phone calls, and finally, finally found one person who truly understood every word, every emotion, every possible lonely litle thing....

She is leaving him, and she will be ok.  I will make sure she is ok. She will taste the air again.  She will burst to flame and be reborn from her ashes.  She will not go through this alone anymore. Io lo so che non sono solo....